Tipping

Hi Everyone!

I’d like to welcome you to PatientlyWaitressing. In this blog you will learn about etiquette when dining out, be entertained by anecdotes of my serving experiences, and realize that this job just isn’t as easy as it seems.

This week I would like to talk about tipping. It’s why I’m in the business, and it’s how servers make their bread and butter.

I should start by saying I’m very good at what I do. The reason is, I enjoy making people happy. When someone tells me he doesn’t want tomatoes on his sandwich, I make sure there are no tomatoes. When a guest asks me to make her five-year-old’s Shirley Temple “fancy” on New Year’s Eve by putting an orange and umbrella in his kid’s cup so he can feel like a grown up even though I’m taking care of four other tables at the moment, I do it. Why? BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

Now, when I go through all the hassle to listen to your special instructions and take special care that everything arrives to you perfectly, please thank me by leaving the appropriate tip.

Don’t know what the appropriate tip is? Here are some guidelines from eHow.com’s article “How to Tip a Waiter”:

1. Tip 15% of the overall bill, minus the tax, in most cases. Depending on the service, 15%-20% is the common range.

2. Tip an extra 5% (a total of 20%) if the restaurant is a highly rated establishment or if a large party is dining and the gratuity is not automatically added to the tab.

3. Add the gratuity to the overall bill, which includes alcohol but does not include tax.

4. Consider scribbling a note on your check if you wish to acknowledge someone on the staff who went out of his way for you.

5. Leave a lesser tip if you are unhappy with the service. A word with the server, in addition, is also appropriate.

As far as I’m concerned, Rule #5 should never apply to me. I dine out often (4+ times a week) and I know what bad service is. Even on my worst night, it’s just not something I provide. When I do something, it is my personal mission to do it AT LEAST above satisfactory. Now granted, “above satisfactory” is a relative statement, but I surely did not deserve what has been handed to me over the past week.

Saturday, Sunday and Monday were the worst nights of my serving career thus far.

I shall begin with Saturday. From the moment I walked through the restaurant's doors it was a hectic. I was dealt with at least one party of 10+ all night, along with three other tables. If you think about it, that's around the needs of 22 people (give or take) I have to cater to at a time.


Finally I see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s an hour before closing, I’m about to finish up a party of 12, and just as I'm about to put a cap on this never-ending shift, another group of 9 walk in.

At first we were off to a great start, but slowly things headed downhill. Everyone began throwing orders at me at different times. Every time I would come to the table, these people would need something else. They wanted another appetizer. They wanted another entrée, another beer, another ginger ale with NO ICE, because the one sitting on the table with ice was absolutely unacceptable. On top of that, I have 4 other tables including that party of 12 who wanted to close out their tab.
I know what you’re thinking… it’s my job. Yes it is. I have no problem doing my job. My problem lies with when I returned to this lovely bunch of 9.


“Uhhh… can you like… have someone clear off this table?”


“Well actually, we only have one busboy at the moment, so I’ll have to clear it off. Please give me just a few minutes to settle some things and I’ll be right back to get some of this off your hands.”


I understand people want to feel special when they go out to eat. But what people need to understand is that when you linger around until just before closing, there isn’t much staff left to jump to your every wimper. It’s just a one man band. And that one man band is not an octopus. I only have 2 hands and I am trying to make 5 other groups just as happy.

I returned after a few minutes, as promised, to a table full of unreasonably annoyed people asking for their check. 9 SEPARATE CHECKS. I began to clear off the table and apologized to them explaining that I had a payment issue at another table. I apologized profusely. Seriously, I was just short of getting on my knees and crying for forgiveness. Guests are usually rational enough to realize that I’m sincerely sorry and it makes them feel better knowing that I care. Not these people.

Seeing that my plead for mercy wasn’t enough, I hunted down the only busboy on the floor and begged him to help me clear the table. He helps. I returned with 9 separate checks, all with 18% gratuity included since it was a large party. I apologize once more to which one of the fine gentlemen responded “the busboy made you look better than you actually were.”

At this point I just wanted to tell him to go [insert expletive here] himself, but I bit my tongue and said sorry once more.  I walked away with everyone’s payment and as I settled the tabs, I had to listen for 5 minutes about what a horrible server I am and how I should be tipping them.

You must be joking! I may have not cleared your table the second you asked me to, but I did nothing else wrong! I was only nice to you and served you your overabundance of food and drink. Oh America – land of the free, home of the fat! Obviously they were annoyed the tip was included. Next time they should go to McDonald’s.

Superbowl Sunday was another fiasco. The restaurant was surprisingly dead for having a bunch of big screen TVs playing the game. I had a few small tables but the big check of the night was a party of five guys drinking all night. I stayed later than I was supposed to, just for them, since they were enjoying my great service so much they told my managers. I drop the $315.00 check at the table. I return just as they’re leaving to say goodbye. The gentleman tell me they would come back to see me again next week and hand me the check.

I opened the check presenter anticipating a hefty tip. They left $15!! Are you kidding me?!?!? There should have been at least $60 in there! Why me?

Monday rolls around. The first table I got was a weird middle aged couple. They only ordered two small entrees and 2 glasses of water. The total of their bill was $27.00. I came back to the table and they were gone. I looked inside the check presenter and saw only $25.00. I couldn’t help but laugh.

I had never been stiffed on a check or been given a tip below 12% of the total until this week. I wonder are people really that mean? Last I checked slavery no longer existed in this country. Servers basically live off their tips. If I wait on you for an hour, and you don’t tip me, I’ve basically worked for free for the entire hour.

Next time you don’t leave a gratuity, think of how you’re really affecting someone’s life.